50 Shades of Grey
This is a rant about 50 Shades of Grey, and why it has annoyed the shit out of me. Here we go…
…. IT IS TWILIGHT with an element of pornography… (probably the sex life of newly vampired Bella and Edward. Although we will never know considering it is a young adult series and that would be wildly inappropriate.) I will now tell you why…
Edward Cullen and Christian Grey are the same person because….
they are both gorgeous, rich as hell, love cars, buy their woman a car (even though they both really don’t want it), are stalkers, controllers, are monsters in their own way, are trying to change their monstrous ways for their new woman, they both play piano, they both let their woman experience “flying”, they both have awesome families although they are not blood related to them, they both have mysterious past that are revealed slowly…
Bella/Isabella Swan and Ana/Anastasia Steele are the same person because….
they are both smart and love to read (classic books), they are both in denial of their good looks and the effect they have on men, they are ditzy and fall often, they are virgins, they have divorced parents and erratic mothers, they fight with themselves for loving a freakshow, they like to dress badly, they refuse extravagant presents from their mans…
Jose … is Jacob. No explanation needed.
based in … WASHINGTON.
a… TRILOGY.
WT THE FUDGICLE!
Sadly, I’m ordering 50 Shades Darker on Amazon as I write… FAIL.